Listen, we've all been there. "Woe-is-me" moments are bound to happen, but at what point do you stop negative self-talk? These sayings are venomous and plant seeds in your head for years to come. They trickle into your relationships, careers, and life. We need to understand that our thoughts are absolutely in our own power and that we can overcome the bad with a simple mindset shift. It's not about being oblivious to situations at hand, but about seeing it in a different light. You are not doomed for all eternity. However, you will be if you continue to use negative self-talk.
Talk to yourself like you would to someone you love.― Brene Brown
Negative Self-Talk, Stop Saying These 9 Things To Yourself
Stop Saying: I'm not good enough
Instead try this: I am enough.
STOP. Just stop. How is saying this benefitting you? I'm almost certain it's not. Believe in yourself friend, you got this, you are enough. STOP. Just stop. How is saying this benefitting you? I'm almost certain it's not. Believe in yourself friend, you got this, you are enough. Would you say the things you say to yourself to your mom, grandparent, sibling, baby, child, partner, or best friend? Then why say them to yourself. A fun exercise I like to do with clients is have them write down 100 Reasons they are awesome. Don't be shy, tell us why you're awesome!
Stop Saying: I can't
Instead try this: I can and I will. As simple as this one seems, far too often we just forget about it. Once you start declaring you can't, guess what - you simply can't.
Stop Saying: I'm not deserving
Instead try this: I'm deserving. Simply understand what you are saying. You were born for a reason and in that, just being alive makes you deserving of everything and more.
Stop Saying: I'll do it later
Instead try this: I'll do it right now. This one has to be my biggest pet peeve. Do you know how much time is waisted in a day procrastinating? About 218 minutes a day which adds up to 55 days in the year! When people say "time flies," or "omg the year went by so fast...," thats because you really only had 310 days in the year. Later leads to never and tomorrow never comes. Stop procrastinating, stop waisting time scrolling social media, stop checking your phone, making excuses, looking the other direction. Take those 55 days and do something about it.
Stop Saying: I wish I had
Instead try this: I'm grateful I have... Being grateful can change your mindset entirely. Right now, look around what surrounds you. What can you be grateful for? Maybe a warm bed, cool plants, pet companions, food? It's fine to want and have, but if you are continuously yearning for xyz you'll never see the greatness that's right in front of you (including yourself). Who knows, maybe someone wishes that have what you have!
Stop Saying: In another lifetime
Instead try this: In this lifetime. What do you mean in another lifetime?! Who's to say we even have one. If you can't turn this lifetime into the one you want, then you need to reset your goals and try harder. Success is defined differently for everyone. Why not start defining what success really looks like to you and how you can get there in this lifetime. Start understanding that the things you want to achieve are not impossible, rather just a detour to get there.
Stop Saying: I'm not talented
Instead try this: I'm full of potential. Guess what, NO ONE IS TALENTED. Can you believe that? Literally no one. The greatest talents of all time have put in time and effort to get to where they are today. It's not that they are talented, but that they put in 10,000 hours or more into something they love and are dedicated to. Do you think Mozart was the greatest composer of all time? Well, he's been practicing since he was 4. So don't beat yourself up about something especially if you just started. You are full of potential!
Stop Saying: I should
Instead try: I must. The Crossroads Of Should And Must is such a great read by Elle Luna. It's about all the shoulds that get thrown at you in life when the most important word is must. Your parents, friends, and family might say, "You should do this, this, and that." Stop shoulding yourself and choose must. You must complete xyz for you and not them, you must do xyz because it make you happy not them. Think about all the shoulds that get thrown at you and then choose must.
Stop Saying: What people think matters
Instead try this: I don't care what they say. When was the last time you did something for yourself without caring about others or social norms in general? No matter what people will always have something to say. If you're too sweet, too loud, too quiet, too tall, too short, too bald, too hairy. People will always talk. So, why care? Don’t give them the authority to crush you or your dreams. Do what ever you want, I've learned that no matter how outrageous you think you are, someone is right behind you loving everything you do so keep doing it!